[Aftermath Comment]: on the 30th, the homelife

[Kate sHOLL <ksholl@monitor.net>]

It's been awhile now. Things are bumbling along in the government, going
from warmongering to war-waiting. The newspaper headlines continue to talk
about war, but talk is talk and I for one am glad that is what the
government is doing -- talking.

But at home, things are subtly different. Our son has a tic syndrome that
waxes and wanes. We have noticed that since the original horror and pain
have faded, his tics have become remarkably more pronouced. They have gone
back to being large movements, which they haven't been for a long time. We
think maybe this is how his body is blowing off the stored up terror and
sadness, that when bad and scary things happen he is too immobilized to
move. It seems good that, despite his embarassment at it, he is now
letting the bad stuff out. His sister, who was fying home from New York to
California at the time of the bombings, is staying much closer to home.
Prior to her NYC trip, to see her friend off for England, she was out
almost every night; indeed, it was if she didn't live here. Now, she is
almost always home. My partner has been coming home earlier from work
everyday, despite the fact that he has large outstanding contracts and we
are broke.

We sit together as a family a lot. We watch movies together - completely
goofy movies. We sit close, in a puppie pile, on the couch and tickle each
other, or just sit quietly. This isn't unusual, but it is different in the
amount - it happens a lot more.

And no one is saying anything about any of this. I wonder if it because we
are scared, though I think not. It is so very easy to slip into a cocoon
of safety here. We can go back to just being annoyed at the teenagers who
drive those cars with the too-loud stereos and wish that there was less
traffic whenever we get in our car to go somewhere. What I really think
has happened is that we got one of those deeply imprinted messages on our
emotional parts, concerning love and care and importance of being with
those we love the best. At least, that is what I hope this is about. It is
the best thing to come out of the horror we had to endure. It is our
silver lining.